


2 years, 6 months, and 29 days of anime

by PaigeOfSpace



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Post-Sburb, everyone forgets dirk wasnt the only kid into anime, so it falls to me to remind everyone that jade and john were also total nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 01:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8470858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaigeOfSpace/pseuds/PaigeOfSpace
Summary: “You know what fucks me up?” Dave asked.“What fucks you up?” Rose replied without looking up. Dave turned in his seat to face Dirk, gesturing with the end of his apple juice bottle.“You guys got an extra 2 years, 6 months, and 29 days of human culture before Fish Bitch swooped in and took over.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote most of this before the 10/25/16 credits upd8 so their living situation is slightly inaccurate. but maybe they're staying at someone's house for thanksgiving or something?
> 
> also i kind of rushed writing the end because i wanted to post this before the donald trump joke in there became either dry and overdone or Way Too Real™
> 
> EDIT: took out the trump joke. doesn't seem appropriate anymore. i hope you all are doing alright <3

“Mornin’,” Dave yawned from the kitchen doorway.

“Good morning!” Jade and Jane sang in unison. Dirk raised a hand in greeting from the table at the far end of the room. Rose glanced up at him from her book, then continued her scribbling.

“You want anything?” Jane asked from where she stood at the griddle, cooking an omelette. Whenever they all stayed together, Jane was the _de facto_ chef of the group, simply because she was the only one with enough experience in a kitchen to even be allowed near a hot stove. She claimed that her cooking skills were not nearly as good as her baking skills, but everyone knew she was just being modest.

“‘m good, thanks,” Dave mumbled, walking over to the refrigerator. He grabbed a bottle of apple juice and took a sip, taking a seat beside Rose at the bar. Jade hummed as she watered the plants on the windowsill, and the omelette Jane was making popped and hissed.

“You know what fucks me up?” Dave asked.

“What fucks you up?” Rose replied without looking up. Dave turned in his seat to face Dirk, gesturing with the end of his apple juice bottle.

“You guys got an extra 2 years, 6 months, and 29 days of human culture before Fish Bitch swooped in and took over.”

“Such a precise number,” Rose commented.

“Hey, I can’t help it.” He shrugged. “Did Obama manage to fix shit? Rose, remember how excited you were to see if Obama would fix shit?”

“He certainly tried!” Jane said, looking over her shoulder at Dave. “I think… wasn’t Mitt Romney going to try to run against him in 2012?”

“I never payed much attention to American politics,” Jade shrugged, setting down her watering can. She hoisted herself up onto the kitchen island, grabbed an orange from the bowl of fruit beside her, and set about peeling it. “What about pop culture stuff?”

“Let me think… Michael Jackson died in 2009?” Jane offered, flipping the omelette out of the frying pan and onto a plate.

“That fucking sucks,” Dave said.

“There was some big legal hullabaloo with his doctor about it, if I recall.” Jane said, placing the plate in front of Rose, who nodded in thanks. “Anyone else want anything?” There was chorus of “no”s, so Jane popped two slices of bread in the toaster for herself before returning to sit across the bar from Rose.

“What else you got?” Dave asked. 

"There was that enormous earthquake in Haiti, the 2010 Winter Olympics, that 'Avatar' film Jake loves -”

“They made a movie of 'Avatar'?” Jade asked excitedly.

“No. Well, yes,” Dirk said. “There was a movie called 'Avatar' about blue aliens _and_  a movie called 'The Last Airbender' that was based on the cartoon. Don’t get your hopes up, though, it was godawful.”

“Which one?” Rose asked.

“Yes.” Jane sighed. “Don’t let Jake know I said that, though, he adores them both. Let’s see, what else was there… There was that horrendous song ‘Friday’, that show about ponies that became popular with men in their 30s for some reason, ‘Call Me Maybe’, Billy Mays died -”

“Billy Mays died!?” Dave asked incredulously.

“What about…” Jade interrupted innocently, picking at a scrap of orange peel, “...anime?” The toaster dinged. Dirk’s head shot up with interest just as Dave’s hit the counter with a dull thud. Jane giggled.

“If it’s anime you want, I’m your guy,” Dirk said seriously.

“God, I knew you or Egbert would bring that up eventually, I just knew it. Fucking hell.” Dave grumbled, his head still laying on the table. Rose patted him on the back.

“Knew I’d bring up what?” John asked as he walked into the kitchen, placing one kiss each on Jade and Jane’s cheeks before heading over to the refrigerator.

“Anime,” Rose informed him.

“Man, you know what anime I was really looking forward to?” John said, grabbing a bagel and a tub of cream cheese. “Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.”

“Oh, yeah!” Jade exclaimed. “I remember you were so excited for it. I felt so bad I couldn’t tell you that the world was gonna end instead.”

“I have the whole thing downloaded,” Dirk said casually.

“ _Really_?” Jade and John asked in unison.

“Yup. I have the 2003 one too,” John opened his mouth to say something, but Jade spoke over him.

“Oh, don’t get him started,” she said, shoving half his bagel in his open mouth to shut him up.

“Yeah, seriously, don’t.” Dave groaned, head in his hands. Rose nodded in agreement.

“We should marathon it!” John said through a mouthful of bagel, “The good one, I mean.”

“Yeah!!” Jade concurred, clapping excitedly.

“I’d be down,” Dirk said, “and I’ve got more, too. Like seriously, _petabytes_ of the stuff. The good, the bad and the ecchi, all right here.” He patted the top of his computer for emphasis.

“What would you recommend?” Jade asked, moving to look over Dirk’s shoulder at his collection, John following closely behind.

“There was a lot of good stuff between 2009 and 2011, let me think,” Dirk mused, clicking through files and directories in a folder labeled ‘The Animes.’ “There was the second Rebuild movie - did you guys ever watch Neon Genesis Evangelion?”

“No, but I’ve heard of it,” John said. Jade shook her head.

“You should probably watch the original series first, then. I’ve got that too. Let’s see, there was Princess Jellyfish, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, the Hunter x Hunter remake, the final season of Inuyasha -”

“ _They finished Inuyasha_!?” Jade asked, a little too loudly.

“Holy shit we’re doomed,” Dave whispered to Rose, who snickered.

“Okay, ow,” Dirk said, trying to free his shoulder from Jade’s excited grip. “And yes, they did finish Inuyasha.”

“Okay, I definitely need to see that.”

“This is getting to be a shitload of anime we have to watch,” Dirk observed, “I could always just send you what you need so you can watch it on your own time.”

"Nah, c’mon, man, marathons are fun!” John thumped Dirk a little too hard on the back, causing his glasses to fall askew.

“Yeah, don’t just ditch us, Dirk!” Jade added. “We can start with FMA, and then Neon Genesis Televangelism, and then whatever else you think we should watch!”

An almost imperceptible smile formed on Dirk’s lips.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Any of you wanna join us?” John asked the other three in the kitchen. Jane and Rose shook their heads. Dave laughed.

“No fucking way in hell, dude.”

**Author's Note:**

> jade was totally an inuyasha fucker, like she had a self-insert inukag lovechild oc and everything. she also loves tokyo mew mew but that isn't really related to this fic, although dirk probably has that downloaded too, if she ever wants to rewatch it.


End file.
